was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I wish you could order shots online.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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