Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
