Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
