trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How does it feel to date your dad?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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