you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
