we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
