Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
