The best revenge is premature balding
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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