new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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