the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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