Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
