why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize