i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Randomize
