You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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