I would go down on you faster than GM stock
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
