maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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