If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
