Soap is not a condiment
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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