champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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