New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Barsexuality is the new black.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
