Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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