Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
