I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
