He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
