Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
