some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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