Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
