we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
