Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
