i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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