Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
