Soap is not a condiment
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
