I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I am one with the molecules
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
