I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Damn victory sex feels great
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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