I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
