Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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