We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
