i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize