i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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