Where are you?
In a non slutty way
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize