My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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