I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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