Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
