at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
