went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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