You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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