Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
