This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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