plz talk dirty to me
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
