yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
