I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
