I looked at my own cervix.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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