is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The beer is more important than you right now.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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