Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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