She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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