we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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