i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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