pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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