There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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