he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
