Yo dont text me then not text me
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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