i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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