i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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