How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize