That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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