were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
